We like music, you like music, let's be friends.
Oxford's Traktors will save your ears!
by RJ Rodriguez-Lewis posted January 15, 2008
Someone has totally spiked the punch bowl. Everybody out of the pool!
What is GOING on? What's this stubborn relationship between the sonic wavelengths birthed by pop songs and our ears? How come we "like" the music we like and "hate" the music we hate? And don't let anyone tell you that live music is dead because all of this generation's young pretty things have made it all fluff and no stuff with their fashion-first approach to music making. It's all about what you look like, no diggity baby-who really gives a flying rat's brother from another mother about what you sound like? I mean, who cares about the music? We only go to shows to see and be seen, and like, ya to reassure ourselves that we all spend our hard-earned scriller on flash dresses from the same sweat shops and are secretly embarrassed that we do because Seymour's not-so-official-girlfriend-but-really-wife and you are wearing the same mother-loving frock and you hate it because it looks better on her but not really because it makes you feel like you fit in, like, DUH.
That is why the sonic art that is Traktors will save your ears. Traktors will save your ears by violently severing them off with their brutal, factory-belt smokestacks. Oxford's own, sometimes-a-duo-sometimes-a-trio-noise soldiers force mass destruction on innocent by-standards by amplifying electronic forces of nature by playing guitars with drills, smashing live basses on stage, and inflicting sadistic cases of carpal tunnel syndrome on themselves all in sacrifice. You will be physically incapable of comprehending the thought of hearing anything else. This time at the gig, there won't be that awkward small talk session between you and Jimmy's girlfriend-whose-name-you-can't-remember-skinny-bitch because you absolutely have no chance of hearing her or anyone else. YOU ARE SAVED.
What is GOING on? What's this stubborn relationship between the sonic wavelengths birthed by pop songs and our ears? How come we "like" the music we like and "hate" the music we hate? And don't let anyone tell you that live music is dead because all of this generation's young pretty things have made it all fluff and no stuff with their fashion-first approach to music making. It's all about what you look like, no diggity baby-who really gives a flying rat's brother from another mother about what you sound like? I mean, who cares about the music? We only go to shows to see and be seen, and like, ya to reassure ourselves that we all spend our hard-earned scriller on flash dresses from the same sweat shops and are secretly embarrassed that we do because Seymour's not-so-official-girlfriend-but-really-wife and you are wearing the same mother-loving frock and you hate it because it looks better on her but not really because it makes you feel like you fit in, like, DUH.
That is why the sonic art that is Traktors will save your ears. Traktors will save your ears by violently severing them off with their brutal, factory-belt smokestacks. Oxford's own, sometimes-a-duo-sometimes-a-trio-noise soldiers force mass destruction on innocent by-standards by amplifying electronic forces of nature by playing guitars with drills, smashing live basses on stage, and inflicting sadistic cases of carpal tunnel syndrome on themselves all in sacrifice. You will be physically incapable of comprehending the thought of hearing anything else. This time at the gig, there won't be that awkward small talk session between you and Jimmy's girlfriend-whose-name-you-can't-remember-skinny-bitch because you absolutely have no chance of hearing her or anyone else. YOU ARE SAVED.